How to Annoy a Realtor

Now that I have a couple years under my belt as an inspector in the New Hampshire Real Estate industry, I thought I would reflect back a bit and share some entertaining insight (for lack of better terminology) and take a look at the good, bad, and very ugly side of Real Estate. This issue we’ll focus on Realtors themselves. Because, let’s face it, any time you think of buying or selling a house, a Realtor is the first person that comes to mind. While performing inspections, I run into a number of Realtors on a regular basis that I have been fortunate enough to establish professional working relationships with. Today, I thought I’d share some tales.

One of my favorite stories (and this happens more often than you might imagine) is when a prospective home buyer calls her Realtor at 5:00pm Tuesday evening claiming they have to see this house right away! Never mind said Realtor was in the middle of cooking dinner on the one evening she gets to spend with her family that week – you just couldn’t wait until the next day. So, after burning dinner while on the phone with the listing agent, who was also in the middle of a family dinner, in an attempt to make an immediate showing happen, you agree to meet at the house at 6:30 – and show up 25 minutes late. And just in case you are wondering, Realtors have no problem babysitting your 3 and 5 year-old children while you and your spouse are contemplating whether or not the paint color in the guest bedroom closet will clash with the quilt great aunt Mable made for you 12 years ago. All is (somewhat) forgiven when you decide you want to put in an offer on the house. After numerous phone calls back and forth and getting your mortgage broker out of bed, you’ve finally made an offer – at 12:42am. Congratulations!

At 6:17am, you call your Realtor’s cell phone, anxiously wondering if your offer has been accepted. What you don’t know is that your Realtor didn’t get to bed until about 3:30 after following up with a few other clients, and of course letting the dog out. And it’s never just a quick potty break either – the dog has to circle 17 times to the left and 4 times to the right just to find the correct blade of grass to pee on. All while pulling as hard as he can on the leash while your Realtor feverishly tries to type another ‘quick’ email one-thumbed on her cell phone with the low-battery light flashing.

6:41am – No response yet!? In befuddlement, you decide to set up the home inspection for the next day since you will be going out of town on a long weekend with your family and won’t be available. A Google search and four calls later you find an inspector that picked up the phone at 7:08am and you are disappointed that he can’t be there until 10am the next day. You call a few more inspectors, leaving messages begging for a call back, and schedule with the next guy that was able to answer his phone and can be there at 9:30am.

Your Realtor called at 9:52am congratulating you with news the offer was accepted – but you only have 5 days to get the inspection done. You are so relieved – thank goodness it all came together before you leave for your long weekend tomorrow afternoon!

Inspection day – you arrive at 10:03am. The inspector has been patiently waiting in his truck outside for over half an hour. You wonder where your Realtor is to let you in and ask the inspector to open the key box, only the inspector doesn’t have access. You laugh when you realize that you forgot to mention to your Realtor when the inspection was scheduled…

By noon, you’ve been feeding pop tarts, peanut butter and jelly crackers and juice boxes to your kiddos and have made a mess of the seller’s living room. The inspector is done and you ask if he found anything wrong. You finish up a few text messages and update your Facebook status while he’s talking and give him a shocked look when he asks for payment. Explaining that you left your purse at home, your Realtor writes a personal check to the inspector and lets you go about your busy day, packing for the weekend getaway. At the end of the road you rear-end your Realtor at the stop sign. No damage – at least she’s a mom and will understand how difficult it is with two kids while your husband is off at work…

Your Realtor stops in the grocery store on the way home and bumps in to a client from three years ago. The client gives her a big hug and shares cell phone pictures of the updates they have made to their home. Your Realtor is reminded of how rewarding her job can be – it is one of the most gratifying occasions when a new home owner cries with joy after helping a young family obtain their first home.

The inspection report comes through the next day (Friday). Since you are on vacation, you’ll skim through it later.

You call in sick on Monday since the weekend was so tiring and you remember to look at the inspection report just after lunch. Your husband is upset because the inspection report says the deck needs to be replaced and calls the inspector wanting an explanation as to why he didn’t know about this before.

Now it’s Monday at 3:29pm and any counter-offer has to be in by 5:00pm. You spend the next hour on the phone with your Realtor (who is at her daughter’s softball game), explaining how you can’t get the forms signed because you don’t know much about the computer and are not sure how to find the documents you just downloaded. You and your husband get frustrated and argue and decide to back out of the deal all together.

The next day, your husband is complaining about the whole process at work and his co-worker says, “you should have used my Realtor!” Your husband calls his co-worker’s Realtor and the process starts all over again…

When buying a home, it takes an entire team of professionals to make it happen. Work with those you trust. Do your homework. And most importantly, please be respectful to those that dedicate their lives to making yours easier.

A very special Thank You to those who contributed! Names have been omitted to protect the innocent…